Shakesphere
(edited quote from As You Like It)
All the world's a stage,
And all men and women are merely players;
They have their entrances and exits,
And in their lifetime play many parts.
Men and Women are still trying to figure out their lines. As we stumble about improvising what words and behaviors to choose, the "PLAY" is often less than entertaining!
I believe it is critically important that dog owners, parents, business owners, managers and government leaders become familiar with Cesar Millan's work. Cesar's expertise is closely aligned with many of Dr. Phil's and The Nanny TV series out of control children episodes.
Over and over in Cesar Millan's, The Dog Whisperer on the National Geographic TV Channel www.cesarmillanic.com. Cesar explains how dog "owner's" behavior affects the behavior of their dog. People come to understand that bad behavior is not the dog's personality, it is a frustrated attempt to become the pack leader, when there is none available!
Also, if a dog (or a child) is "spoiled" (given affection when in an excited or agitated state) the owner (parent) is reinforcing undesirable behavior.
You, as the Pack Leader must be calm and assertive (no angry or tense energy) and claim your space by putting yourself between what your dog thinks it wants and your dog. Words and eye contact should not be used. That confuses or challenges the dog. Challenges can create aggressive behavior. The goal is to create a calm submissive dog that is always a pleasure to be with. The dog will be happier too!
These learned and practiced behaviors are integral aspects of the expertise Cesar shares in his books, his TV program and with clients. Generally he has a standard approach for the owners and the dogs, but he is able to calmly and assertively adjust to individual circumstances.
When an owner reaches his limit of bad dog behavior and is reluctant to follow the advise of other professionals, who often will suggest to "put the dog down", and if the frustrated owner knows about Cesar's work, they call him as a last resort. "Miracles" happen when Cesar shows up! Cesar often says he rehabilitates dogs and trains people.
The title of Cesar's first book with co-author Melissa Jo Peltier (2006) is Cesar's Way The Natural, Everyday Guide To Understanding & Correcting Common Dog Problems.
This wonderful book includes very descriptive biographical stories of Cesar and the incredible calm assertive, kind people who have been his mentors, as well as very important information regarding the universal language of energy, dog psychology, instinct and our connection to Mother Nature,
The introduction includes an excerpt from a fan, which begins: "Thank you so much for your show, Dog Whisperer. The funny thing is you've changed me and my family's life and we don't even own a dog. The excerpt ends with: "You have not only taught humans about their dogs, you have taught humans about themselves."
And in the priceless inclusion between the Introduction and the Prologue, "A Note About Gender", Cesar writes," I credit my brilliant and beautiful wife, Illusion Wilson Millan, for opening my eyes to the vital role that women play in our human existence. They truly are the glue who hold our human "pack" together." (See page 53 & 54.)
In Chapter 9, "Fulfilling Our Dogs, Fulfilling Ourselves" page 271, Cesar nears the end of the chapters by writing, "If you fulfill your dog in these ways - by giving him exercise, discipline and affection, in that order --- you will witness the miracle of two very different species communicating and bonding with each other in ways you never thought possible. You will achieve in your relationship with your dog the kind of deep connection you always dreamed of having."
Page 64:
When it comes to energy, we humans have much more in common with animals than we usually like to admit.
Page 73:
The proper energy for a follower in a dog pack is called calm-submissive energy. This is the healthiest energy for your dog to project in his relationship with you.
Calm-Submissive Energy
The word submissive carries with it negative connotations. Submissive doesn't mean pushover. It simply means relaxed and receptive - open-minded and able to converse easily with one another Cesar admits, "When I learned how to be calm-submissive to my wife, it improved my marriage 100 percent!"
The Calm-Assertive Energy
Page 69:
A calm-assertive leader is relaxed, but always confident that he or she is in control.
(It does not mean frustrated-angry-aggressive.)
Cesar adds, "When you're looking for a role model in calm-assertive energy, turn your channel to The Oprah Winfrey Show and watch Oprah interact with her guests and her audience. She is relaxed, even-tempered, but undeniably powerful, and always in charge. That's the kind of energy you should be aiming for when you interact with your dog, cat, boss, or your kids!" (or your Husband or Wife.)
Chapter 7 is a very important chapter regarding leadership!
It begins on page 215 with a picture of President George W. Bush pulling on his dog's leash trying to get him to go up the steps to his airplane. (Once you are familiar with Cesar's work you will understand the significance of this picture.)
Page 216, second paragraph:
Cesar writes, "Amazingly, I had been invited to speak to this elite group about dogs and calm-assertive leadership. Who, me? Telling these major power brokers about leadership? What could I, a working-class kid from Mexico, possibly have to offer them? Much to my surprise, I had a lot to offer. Because among all these international leaders, not one of them could control his or her dogs!"
Page 217, half way down first paragraph:
"I got a lot of applause during one seminar when I suggested that everybody write letters to Congress and suggest that before anyone gets sworn in as president, he or she has to learn how to walk a powerful dog. Maybe even a pack of dogs! It would be a test they'd all have to pass. All world leaders of all countries should be able to do it."
"If that actually happened, then all of our human pack leaders would have to practice calm assertive energy, because that's the only energy that dogs naturally follow. I believe we'd have a lot more balanced people running the world, if they based their leadership on calm assertive energy."
"You see, animals don't follow unstable pack leaders; only humans promote, follow and praise instability. Only humans have leaders who can lie and get away with it. Around the world, most of the pack leaders we follow today are not stable. Their followers may not know it, but Mother Nature is far too honest to be fooled by angry, frustrated, jealous, competitive, stubborn or other negative energy - even if it is masked by a politician's smile. That's because all animals (and children) can evaluate and discern what balanced energy feels like."
Dianna's comments regarding what I have learned from Cesar, even though I have no dogs and my children are grown: Children and dogs will take advantage of parents and dog owners, if there is no authority figure (leadership) in the house - or in the office. Rules, boundaries and limitations are a must, if families, employers, employees and public "leaders" want to experience a non-chaotic, functional relatively stress-less life.
In addition, I'm practicing feeling and projecting calm-assertive energy in all situations. I'm learning the valuable lesson that if you "stand your ground", you will get what you want! (Probably not in an instant. Continue to be clear. Be unwavering. Be patient. Be kind.) Also be willing to accept and learn from calm-assertive wise mentors.
